May 16th, 2011

I've said it before and I'll say it again: you can always tell how good someone's English is based on how terrified they are of you. Most people who speak no English will ignore you completely or just start talking to you. People who speak some English will sidle up and drop some words. People who speak pretty good English will head for the hills at the first opportunity, making no attempt to hide the terror in their eyes.

This was brought to my attention again yesterday. There's a certain new teacher who is one of only two teachers who've never spoken to me. I figured from the beginning that he spoke English, because he keeps 7 feet of distance between us at all times. Yesterday I was having an impromptu conversation in the hall with a very loud young man of shakey but bold English ability. This teacher passed us and smiled knowingly. It was one of those, "Ah, this is what I think students should do. They should understand like I do," types of smiles. There's no doubt left in my mind, the man can speak English.

The only exception to this surefire rule is when the English speakers have lived abroad. In that situation, they're over their fears of risk and don't practice the avoidance games. I won't play philosphe and psychologist today, but maybe this phenomenon is linked to the near-universal Japanese fear of failure. If you have no skill at something, there's nothing to fail at. If you have a lot of skill, there's so much more on the line, leading you to avoid it completely.

This sentiment is eerily similar to how I used to live my life. I thought being a wallflower was less upsetting than risking failure. This worked for me, until I started feeling bad about myself as a person and regretting all the missed opportunities. Not that I'm judging Japanese society as a whole, but personally I'm glad to have changed. I have so much more satisfaction in my life now that I'm challenging myself to get out and do things I can be proud of.

May 16th, 2011 - Part 2

I went running on Saturday afternoon, nine miles. While I was waiting at a stoplight at the halfway turn-around point, I looked to my left to see a distinct looking high school boy staring off into the sky above the station. Then I looked across the street and saw...a distinct looking high school boy staring off into the sky above the station. Identical twins was my guess, coincidentally with one of the most unique faces I've seen in Japan.

They had identical haircuts and were dressed identically except for their shoes. The light changed and the one across the street ran to his brother. It was a moment you'd expect to see in a music video or some other form of art that tends to take itself too seriously.

Further down the road, on the return trip, I caught up to a man walking his dog. "That is a strange looking dog," I remarked to myself, only to realize as I got closer that it wasn't one dog at all. It was "strange looking" because it was actually two miniature dachshunds walking very close together.

What kind of message was the universe trying to send me that day, I wonder?

May 16th, 2011 - Part 3

MORAL DILEMMA.

It's almost the end of heating season. There is something wrong with my apartment's heating system. I won't need to use it and even if I did I could get by easily using my electric space heater. Originally I had decided to take care of the problem now anyway, since my sucessor will have enough of his/her mind come winter and it's kinda of cruel to make him/her deal with it when I'm already here and adjusted to life.

BUT, now it seems my school isn't going to help me unless I really raise a fuss. It could cost me a lot of money and a lot of trouble, whereas if a new person comes in, the school will probably do it all for him/her and pay for it as well.

What to do, what to do? Who's more put out in this situation?