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April 15th, 2011
Apr. 15th, 2011 08:56 amI came to work today to find a small plant clipping on my desk with the words, "よもぎ baby" written underneath it on a piece of paper. A quirky thing to find on one's desk, but considering the conversation I had with Yoshizawa-sensei last week about how he grows yomogi, I'm guessing it's from him.
I like that I have a reputation for being interested in people's randomness. It's a little funny that he left it on my desk instead of talking to me about it, but it's also nice to be finally interacting pretty normally with my coworkers. It's a shame it has to end.
I think a lot of it has to do with finally understanding Japanese. Everyone kind of does their own thing and doesn't go out of their way to pander to the foreigner here like they do at many of my friends' schools, so I never got that "HEY STEPH!" atmosphere. Then for a long time I couldn't really understand enough of an entire fast-paced native conversation to just jump in when I wanted. Then for a while after that I wasn't sure if I was actually understanding what I thought I did, so I didn't want to contribute too much. Only now can I finally make normal comments. I sure hope my successor speaks some Japanese! I don't want him/her going through that too.
This week in particular I keep going back and forth about wishing I was staying because my life is so good, and wishing I was going home tomorrow because I'm so lonely even now. Yes, though I have a lot more people to interact with, and my life is more rewarding, and spring has come yadda yadda yadda, I still wish I had someone/some people to really devote some time to. It's not so much that I miss human contact as it is that I miss always having someone close within reach.
How did I turn another entry from being about life observations to being about my loneliness??
I like that I have a reputation for being interested in people's randomness. It's a little funny that he left it on my desk instead of talking to me about it, but it's also nice to be finally interacting pretty normally with my coworkers. It's a shame it has to end.
I think a lot of it has to do with finally understanding Japanese. Everyone kind of does their own thing and doesn't go out of their way to pander to the foreigner here like they do at many of my friends' schools, so I never got that "HEY STEPH!" atmosphere. Then for a long time I couldn't really understand enough of an entire fast-paced native conversation to just jump in when I wanted. Then for a while after that I wasn't sure if I was actually understanding what I thought I did, so I didn't want to contribute too much. Only now can I finally make normal comments. I sure hope my successor speaks some Japanese! I don't want him/her going through that too.
This week in particular I keep going back and forth about wishing I was staying because my life is so good, and wishing I was going home tomorrow because I'm so lonely even now. Yes, though I have a lot more people to interact with, and my life is more rewarding, and spring has come yadda yadda yadda, I still wish I had someone/some people to really devote some time to. It's not so much that I miss human contact as it is that I miss always having someone close within reach.
How did I turn another entry from being about life observations to being about my loneliness??
